February 12, 1943 – October 9, 2021
My Dad passed away today, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, or even how I should feel about it. I remember some good times and good things that he did for our family and for me. But I remember a whole lot more that was bad; moving state to state and school to school, religious rules without grace, his anger often specifically toward me, but mostly his lack of compassion. I learned a lot from him; some good lessons, but mostly “don’t do it this way” lessons. In some very distinct ways, he helped me learn about life – as you might have guessed, both good and bad.
And while I’m not sad that he’s gone (no one deserves to suffer through cancer) there was a part of me that thought that I wouldn’t miss him, that I’d already “dealt with his death”. But I think I do miss him – there’s a part of my history and person that is missing now. Dad helped me become who I am, and that impact will stay with me, for good and bad.